Listening and Giving Feedback

Even though the major focus of this workbook is on how to design and deliver a competent and confident presentation, a presentation is not a linear communication event, as explained earlier.  As a listener and a member of the audience, you have both an interdependent role in the communication process during a presentation and an ethical responsibility to participate with preparation and engagement. This section of the workbook will help you do just that.

Listening is a learned skill.  Just as you are learning to adapt your speaking style to meet the purpose of the presentation and the needs of the audience, so must you also learn to adapt your listening skills to different purposes and situations.  And, as with speaking (and writing), listening is a skill to be learned and practiced; it does not “just happen”.  In fact, you will have far more opportunities to practice listening than speaking during this course.

Compare the speaking style you use during a job interview to when you are hanging out with your friends.  The speaking style you would use in a job interview is probably more intentional: you give your speaking more thought and you pay more attention to the words you say, to your tone of voice, and to how you sit, stand and move than you would in a casual situation with friends.  Now think about the various writing skills you use: you would certainly give more attention to grammar, style and organization when writing an academic essay than you would when writing a text message or a reminder on a sticky note.  You know how to adapt your speaking and writing because, throughout your education and experience, you have learned a wide range of skills from which to choose depending on the situation.

However, unlike speaking and writing, most of us receive little or no formal instruction to help us develop our listening skills.  To remedy this, we will identify what listening is, why it is an essential communication skill, why it is challenging to listen well, and finally, specific actions you can take to improve your listening skills not only when listening to presentations but in a variety of contexts.

What is Listening?

Listening is the internal process of choosing to intentionally or mindfully focus our attention on something we hear while not letting our attention go elsewhere (O’Hair et.al. 2015).  Listening is more than simply being quiet while someone else is speaking; you can hear something without understanding it or giving it any attention.  Another term for listening is mindful attending.  Listening is also the communication skill we use the most in any given day.  “If you are engaged in human communication, listening never stops” (Brownell 2010).  Listening is far from being a passive or easy activity; in fact, depending on what and why we are listening, listening well can be a challenge.

Listening is a process consisting of several stages that occur almost simultaneously.  First, we hear and select the sounds that get our attention.  Next, we understand what we hear by thinking about the literal information of the message, and we also interpret the related, or connotative, meanings of the message.  Then, we evaluate the message to not only determine its accuracy and validity based on other information we have, but also the relevance of the message to our goals and needs.  After that we remember the information after it has gone through all of these stages and, finally, we use the result of this process to inform how we respond to what we have heard (McCornack and Ortiz, 2015; Brownell 2010).

Listening is Essential

Effective listening skills are essential for many reasons:

• for safety: hearing a horn honk as you are about to cross the street may save your life; hearing someone yell for help may save someone else’s life.
• for information: We receive information all the time from our instructors, classmates, boss, co-workers, customers, friends, and any others we may interact with in any given day. When we listen for information, we are attending to details that let us know when an assignment is due, how to complete a task, where to meet a friend, directions to a new restaurant, or what day a significant other has a birthday.
• for understanding: We often find ourselves in unfamiliar situations and meeting new people. We need to listen to understand how to participate appropriately in a new situation and how to interact effectively with those unfamiliar to us or in positions of influence.  We also need to listen to understand what to do with information we have been given.  You may have received the information that an essay is due in two weeks; you may not, however, fully understand how to go about completing the assignment.
• for relationship building: Listening has been shown to have a significant positive impact on the quality of relationships with family, friends and romantic partners – the people who matter most to us (Brownell 2006).
• for successful employment: Listening is one of the top communication skills employers are looking for in their employees. Listening well has also been identified in numerous studies as essential for workplace success and effective leadership (Steil and Bommelje 2004).
• for respect and well-being: How others listen to us has a significant influence on how we see ourselves and our capabilities, as well as on how others perceive us, as the following survey results show:

Over a ten-year period, 740 college and university students in Washington and British Columbia completed a questionnaire that asked about their responses when they perceived they were and were not being listened to.  The statistical and anecdotal results of the questionnaires offer significant information regarding the impact of perceived listening on the speaker.  When asked “What do you think / feel when you believe you are not being listened to?”, 92% of the students replied that they experienced moderate to significant negative reactions.  When asked to describe their reactions, they included comments such as “I feel unimportant; why bother; I feel invisible, angry, sad, invalidated; I feel like I am not valued; I feel like I’m wasting my time.”  On the other hand, when asked “What do you think / feel when you perceive you are being listened to?”, 93% indicated they experienced moderate to significant positive reactions that they described as “I matter; I feel important; I feel like I have something worthwhile to say; I feel energized, connected, involved, happy; I feel valued; I feel more connected to the person listening to me”.  In addition, several respondents indicated that they think more highly of the listener when they perceive the listener attending to what they say.  (McGoff Dean 2017)

Clearly, listening well provides numerous benefits to ourselves and others.  Nevertheless, many of us find it difficult to listen well in various situations.

Listening Well is Difficult

As mentioned earlier, compared to writing and speaking, we receive the least amount of formal instruction for listening, so it is no surprise that many of us are not well informed about how to listen well in different situations. (Beall 2016)

Also, we can listen faster than we speak.  Most of us speak at a rate of 120 – 160 words per minute.  Yet, as listeners, we can hear, interpret, make sense of and respond to 400 or more words per minute.  That means our attention can be on the 120 – 160 words per minute of the speaker while at the same time thinking about what the speaker is saying, considering related ideas, and perhaps wandering to other unrelated thoughts in the same amount of time.  This can be a challenge to our ability to focus on what we are hearing.

In addition to the lack of instruction and the speaking/listening speed ratio, listening is far from being a passive or easy activity.  In fact, depending on what and why we are listening, choosing to listen well can be a challenge, as we typically experience various kinds of distractions that can also interfere with our listening ability.  These distractions include:

• External distractions: These are the distractions that occur around us.  We can find it difficult to listen when we are in a room where other conversations are taking place, cell phones are vibrating or even visible, a room that is too warm or too cold, we are sitting in uncomfortable chairs, there is outside noise, or in a room with poor lighting.
• Internal distractions: These are our own thoughts and feelings that may be clamoring for our attention such as worrying about an upcoming exam or how to pay for school, or being preoccupied with concerns about work, a family situation, an unhappy relationship, or all of these simultaneously!
• Physical distractions: Other challenges to listening occur when we are not feeling well, or we are hungry, tired, or have an injury or other condition that is getting our attention.
• Attitudinal distractions:  We distract ourselves from listening when we think we already know what the speaker is going to say, think we will not be interested, or make assumptions about the speaker before the person even begins to speak.
• Unclear purpose: When we do not consider in advance what we are going to be listening to and why we are listening, we become distracted with thinking about the situation rather than attending to what is being said.

These are just some of the more common distractions we encounter whenever we need to listen, whether listening to a presentation, a co-worker, a significant other, or a family member.  Fortunately, there are several actions we can take to prepare ourselves to listen well and develop our listening skills.

How to Listen Well

Just as we need to adapt our speaking or writing style to the purpose and to our audience or reader, the same is true for listening.  When you are about to listen, ask yourself at least two questions:

• (a) What am I listening for, and
• (b) What will I do with the information I will be listening to?

In other words, know your purpose for listening.  Are you listening to your boss give you instructions about how to complete a task? Are you listening for enjoyment as with a movie or concert? Are you listening to an instructor explain a concept or problem? Are you listening to a friend tell you about an argument she had with her sister? Are you listening to a formal presentation where you will be expected to provide a critique? Answers to questions like these can help you decide where to focus your attention.

For a presentation, your purpose is to listen for information and understanding, and then also reflect on what you have heard in order to provide useful feedback.

Here is how to listen well to a presentation:

• Listen for feelings and attitudes as well as information. Pay attention to the attitudes and feelings of the speaker as conveyed through the speaker’s tone of voice, movements, gestures and facial expressions.
• Postpone other tasks. Turn off your phone (do not even put it on vibrate!) and put it out of sight.  Remove everything from in front of you except perhaps a pen and paper if you plan to take notes.  If you will be making a presentation to the class later, put away your own note cards and presentation information.  You must be an attentive listener even on the day you are scheduled to present.  Avoid sneaking peaks at your presentation materials.  You will actually benefit more from listening to the other presentations and learning from the feedback given to other presenters.  You can then apply this information to your presentation.
• Show listening behaviors that convey interest and support. Make frequent eye contact with the speaker.  Nod your head, lean forward, and turn your body in the direction of the speaker.
• Identify ways to address internal distractions. This one can be challenging.  We may find it difficult to postpone thinking about other concerns we may be facing.  While each of us has our own way of managing our thoughts, here are some suggestions other students have found helpful:
• Make a list of all of the deadlines, tasks and concerns on your mind, and then fold it up and put it away. I find by writing these things down, I have given them someplace else to go other than my mind.  Besides, there is nothing I can do about any of my other concerns while I am in class anyway, so dwelling on them is not helpful.
• Every time I start thinking about things that distract me, I picture putting each one in a basket that I can deal with later.
• I move myself closer to the front of the room, so I am more likely to pay attention to the speaker. The farther back I sit, the more likely I am to let my mind wander to other thoughts.
• Stay seated until the speaker is finished. If you must leave the room for any reason, do so after one speaker is finished and before another one begins.  Do not enter or exit the room while another presentation is in progress.

These suggestions will help you improve your listening skills, so that you will be able to maintain intentional focus of your attention on what you are hearing while not letting your attention go elsewhere.  You will be able to use all the stages of the listening process which were identified earlier in this section – hearing, interpreting, understanding, evaluating, and remembering – in providing a useful and relevant response.

You will also find that, by applying these productive listening behaviors not only in this course but in your other courses, and at work and with friends and family, you are more likely to be interested in what you attend to, learn more from it, and enhance your relationships with others.

Feedback

Feedback is the response we give to another to convey our understanding and acknowledgment of a message we have received.  Feedback can be verbal in the comments we give or questions we ask.  Feedback is also nonverbal: even if you do not say anything in response to a spoken message, your body language will give feedback, whether you are aware of it or not (remember that communication is both intentional and unintentional).

The Importance of Feedback

Feedback is necessary for learning.  We get feedback from our instructors, our co-workers, our parents and our friends.  As a presenter, you benefit from feedback from your listeners so that you can improve your presentation skills.  Others need your feedback so that they can also improve their skills.

Methods of Giving Effective Feedback

Nonverbal feedback is an ongoing form of feedback which you will be giving both during and after the presentation.  Nonverbal feedback is both intentional, when we are aware of the nonverbal behaviors we are using, and unintentional, meaning it happens automatically whether we are aware of it or not.  You will use nonverbal feedback not only during the presentation but also during the critiques and feedback given after the presentation.

The following recommendations will aid you in giving productive nonverbal feedback during the presentation:

1. Remove distractions. Turn off your cell phone and put it where it is not visible. Put away books, papers, and anything else that may catch your attention during the presentation.
2. Sit up straight or lean forward in your seat. A slumped posture shows disinterest.
3. Make eye contact with the speaker as much as possible. This shows the speaker that you are giving your attention to what is being said.  Eye contact will also help you feel more involved in the presentation.  Looking out the window or at something elsewhere in the room can convey disinterest and disrespect to the speaker.  Eye contact makes the presentation more interactive.
4. Nod your head if there is a point you find particularly interesting or with which you agree.
5. Respond with facial expressions. Smile if you hear a humorous comment; show an expression of appreciation or concern if the information calls for it.
6. Focus your attention on the speaker. Avoid doing other activities while you are listening.  Do not “just quickly” check your phone, or fidget with items on your desk. Even though you may think you are being discreet, nonverbal behaviors are visible and easily noticed.    The speaker will notice, and it can be distracting to other members of the audience.

Verbal (and Written) Feedback

After the presentation is finished, you may be asked to provide feedback to the speaker verbally and/or in writing. (See Appendix D for various feedback forms and information starting on page 64.)

The purpose of feedback is to support, encourage, guide, and benefit the speaker as well as convey the quality of your attending skills. Be sure all comments, oral or written, have the speaker’s benefit in mind. Use the following reminders to ensure the usefulness of your feedback.

Criteria for Useful Feedback

1. Be specific. “Good speech” does not give the speaker any useful information about what went well and what could be improved.  Avoid broad, general comments such as ” your visual aids were good” or “need more eye contact”.  Instead, point out specific aspects of the presentation such as “the transitions really helped the information flow together well” or  “I found the amount of text on the last slide was distracting.”
2. Respond from your own experience. Use personal pronouns such as “I” and “me” in your comments such as: “The visual aid in your second point really helped me understand the information” or “I had a difficult time catching some of your words; I thought you were speaking too quickly”.  Avoid speaking on behalf of the entire class: “We couldn’t understand because you talked too fast”.
3. Emphasize what you think the speaker did well. Identify skills and behaviors that the speaker demonstrated effectively. When strengths are reinforced, the speaker knows to build on them in subsequent presentations. Provide specific suggestions for improvement in the context of overall strengths.
4. Be selective. Resist the temptation to provide oral feedback on every detail that you can think of.  Choose two or three key points to pass on to the speaker as oral feedback and give the rest of your feedback in writing.
5. Keep in mind that you are providing information, not giving advice. You are providing the speaker with information regarding your experience of the presentation.  While you can certainly offer a suggestion or two about ways you think the presentation could be improved, avoid “you should” statements.  Instead, use statements such as “I would have found it helpful if…” or “Another idea to consider is…”.
6. Comment on changeable behavior only. Feedback that points out a gesture that was distracting, a point that was unclear, or the omission of the summary are aspects of the presentation within the speaker’s control and therefore can be useful feedback.  Circumstances that are not in the speaker’s control such as noise from another room that interfered with the presentation, a mishap with visual aids because of a faulty projector, or an audience member with a cold who suddenly coughs and sneezes a great deal do not need feedback.  However, if the presenter maintains poise when such uncontrollable distractions occur, this is worth noting.
7. Be supportive. Look at the speaker directly when you give oral feedback; avoid commenting in third person, such as “he did this”, “she did that” “they could have done” when the person is there in the room with you.  Turn toward the speaker and use posture and gestures that indicate you have the speaker’s benefit in mind during the feedback session.
8. Give feedback the way you would like to receive feedback. Consider the type of feedback you find useful and supportive and use that to guide how you give feedback to others.
9. Apply these guidelines in other feedback situations. Both nonverbal and verbal feedback can be used in other areas of your learning experiences.  Use nonverbal listening skills when you are listening to an instructor give a lecture or a talk.  Use the guidelines for effective verbal and written feedback when you do peer editing of essays.  Use these in interactions with friends, family, and co-workers.  Practice effective listening and feedback skills on a regular basis; you may be quite pleased with the overall improvement in the quality of your communication skills.

You Did It!

When you have finished your presentation and received verbal and written feedback, take some time to acknowledge and celebrate what you have accomplished. Even if a presentation does not go as well as you had hoped (we are our own worst critics after all), you have still accomplished something that is challenging and difficult for many people.  Allow yourself time to say, “I did it!”

Take time to complete a self-assessment.  You can use the Self-Assessment form found in Appendix D on page 76 or another form that your instructor may provide. Keep in mind that how you experience your presentation on “the inside” will likely be different from how it appeared to the audience on “the outside”.  We are often overly critical of our own “mistakes” that are small behaviors that most of the time go unnoticed or are barely acknowledged by the audience.  Be sure to consider both your internal assessment and your audience’s feedback as you build your skills and confidence for the next presentation.

What you have learned through the material in this workbook is just the beginning of developing effective presentation and communication skills.  Aim to cultivate your communication effectiveness at every possible opportunity.  Listen, observe, practice, ask for feedback, repeat.  You are on your way!